This is going to be another snarky post, because my new year’s resolution to be nicer is going spectacularly, thanks for asking.
I was organizing my pictures and decided to share the 11 worst things I’ve screenshat from social feeds. So, in order from least awful to awfullest, here we go:
Not super awful, just a great reminder that every morning my sweet little grandmother wakes up, gets on social media, and chooses violence. Personally, I’d choose Queen.
Orphans. I’m afraid of orphans.
My feed is plentiful with Christianity-inspired motivational quotes and little sayings designed to guilt you into being a better person. No comment on their effectiveness, but seriously WTF does this mean? What am I supposed to do with this information? Much confuse, very don’t know.
Congratulations! It’s another orphan to haunt my dreams! With a little side of identity theft.
But wait, there’s more! I have such fond memories of Mrs. Security Question.
Drink it in. The randomly capitalized words. The comma that wasn’t. The escalation to all caps. The self-congratulatory emojis. The rank desperation to be believed so you can convince yourself you wouldn’t rather be windsurfing right now.
I’m not sure whether I agree with the underlying sentiment of this one. Mostly because I don’t know what it is. Until I read this, I wasn’t worried about “The World” teaching my (rhetorical) son to be a woman. Is that a thing that will happen if I don’t teach him to hold the door open for people? Do I start buying GI Joes now? I’d roast the grammar too, if I weren’t also ignoring grammar for effect.
You couldn’t find a picture demonstrating proper trigger control? Wouldn’t that have worked a tiny bit better?
This one has it all. No further comment.
LISTEN in all caps. Without knowing who’s responsible for this meme, I could draw him, and the sketch would be so accurate the police would be able to use it to alert the public when he steals a golf cart and starts driving around hitting flamingos with an old towel for looking gay.
And finally, the pièce de résistance, the meme that drove to me waste a whole post on this in the first place. This is, by a wide margin, the most boomer thing I have ever seen. It could only be boomerier if it were a scanned photograph of a desktop computer screen on which this meme appeared. ALL GLORY TO THE BOOMERS
– AK