Everyone loves food, right? I read this post* recently and got a terrible, horrible, ridiculous idea:
I should make a cooking video in character as Anna!
It’s still hard for me to type that without cringing. At least my face will be hidden, but it’s still the dumbest idea I’ve ever had. Or maybe I think it’s dumb because it’s so wildly out of character. Anyway, I’m so cripplingly type A that I can’t even start filming until I’ve thought through and scripted every moment of the atrocity, so it’s a ways out. I have made two practice videos, one little 5-second nothing and one entirely overhead-shot video of me making my favorite breakfast.
I’m so self-conscious about posting this. Not because of the piss-poor camera work (Dammit, Jim, I’m a writer, not a cinematographer!) but because… I mean… looking at this meal through a stranger’s eyes, I’m starting to realize that what I eat for breakfast most mornings is revolting.
Thing is, I hate, hate, hate sweets. All these “healthy” breakfasts–blueberry oatmeal, banana smoothies, yogurt bowls–the mere thought of them makes me a little nauseated. I’ve shotgunned a Costco-brand protein shake out of desperation a time or two, but I’m not proud of it. The dry heaving alone is enough to put me off my lunch.
I developed this recipe about a year ago when I was yet again embarking on a weight loss journey. I needed something that would keep me full for five fucking minutes and also be so tasty I looked forward to eating it. I’ve probably made this 200+ times, and I’m still not sick of it.
That said, it might actually make you sick to watch this. So, beware.
* Linked article is not culpable in any way for the content of the above video.
– AK